4 month stats

avery is 13lbs 14oz and 25 1/4 inches! she started rice cereal last night. so far the only way she really gets any of it is if i mix it in her bottle. she doesnt quite get the spoon concept yet. but we are working on it!

i have been slacking on updating. i am a terrible mommy! oops lol. avery is just getting bigger and bigger. she had her first thanksgiving last week, and she did well being passed around by everyone.
we also got pictures done at picture people and they came out wonderful. we hope to take her to meet santa soon. she is also playing in her jumparoo. her feet dont touch the ground to bounce, but when we put a pillow down she can do it. she seems to enjoy it!
i will have pictures soon...

avery has her first cold :( its very sad seeing her poor little nose all stuffy. shes coughing and sniffling. she is also teething! its kinda early, but avery seems to be moving so quick with everything, why not this too lol. shes keep shoving her fists in her mouth and drooling.
poor little cutie pie.

avery rolled over 3 times!!!!!! she went from tummy to back. not the other way around yet but we will get there :)
im so proud of my 12 weeker!

well i survived my first day back to work, and avery did well at daycare. apparently she took a 2 hr 15 minute nap in the swing. good girl! everyone at the daycare seems nice. when i went to pick avery up she was playing on the playmat. i got a good smile when i picked her up off the floor :) lots of snuggles and kisses from mommy for the rest of the night hehe. i love her!

in less than 48 hours, i will be back to work. i am so incredibly depressed about this..i dont know how i am going to function. avery is my world. i have spent the past 11 weeks completely consumed by her. how can i be expected to succesfully do my job while worrying about her? i am so sad knowing that i will miss milestones. i want to see every "first". they are only young once. it is so unfair that i have to return to work so soon. other countries give a year maternity leave! people at my job who go out for psych issues have gotten 6 months!!!! it blows my mind and it is complete crap. i hope they fire me. i know thats a horrible thing to say, but really, i know i need money or we will not be able to pay any bills..but really, i just want to be home with my baby. i would trade anything in the world for that. i need more time with her. i am going to be a mess monday morning. i know she prob wont even realize shes not with me, and she will be fine. but I WANT TO BE THE ONE TAKING CARE OF HER. she is my child, i should be the one feeding her, cuddling her, playing with her. life is too busy and goes by so fast. i blink and shes already 11 weeks old! i hope i dont cry all day..that would be embaressing.
the one thing i can hope for is that i will be so busy playing catch up and whatnot that the week will fly by and then the next and then the next.
i know its not like i am dying or something. i will see her. but i will only get an hour in the morning before work and then about 3 hours after work before bed. thats so little time...
i love being a mother. its the best job in the world. i just wish i were lucky enough to be able to stay home.

i just want to share one of my new favorite pictures of avery that i took today.
she is 2 months and 1 week old. she can hold her head up while on her tummy, smile, sit up while supported. and the most important: she is the love of my life. i didnt know what love was until she was born. i love my husband and he loves me. but this is different. she is the most incredible little girl. she has such a personality already. i look forward to every second i get to spend with her. i love our family!

i think its safe to say, Avery is officially sleeping through the night! and not only that, but she is now sleeping in her crib for the second night in a row. last night, she slept for almost 12 hours!!! i am so proud of my little girl. she is getting so big. its kind of bittersweet. on one hand, its amazing seeing all these new developments. every day she gets bigger and bigger and can do more and is more alert. but on the other hand...its just going so fast. i feel like i blink and shes taller! i just love her smiles. it makes me want to cry i am so in love with her. she is just beyond perfection to me. i feel complete.

avery had her 2 month apt today as well as turning 2 months. she is 11.3 lbs and 22 1/4 inches.. she got her 4 vaccines today and poor thing screamed so loud :( it made mommy very sad.
avery is able to lift her head while on her tummy, hold a rattle when pressed to her hand, and for the past two nights she slept 9 hours straight!! heres to hoping that continues. after a week of that i plan on moving her to her own room. ill be sad but i know its almost time.

right now avery is doing some tummy time while laying on her boppy. she is getting so big! i think she weighs close to 11 lbs, my little chunky monkey. she is also becoming more vocal, making "Ah-ah" noises. im just loving spending all my time with her, and as my time to go back to work gets closer, i am getting sadder :( i just need to make the most of every day with her.

avery has been starting to smile the past few days. its great! i dont think she is smiling out of happiness, but i do think she is copying us when we smile at her. it is adorable though, whatever the reason.
she probably weights about 9lbs about now. i started putting her in 0-3 month clothes even though the newborns still fit and the 0-3s are a little big. i just want to make sure we get to use all of the clothes that she has!
right now she is hanging out in her bouncy chair and just looking around. she makes the best faces.
she seems to enjoy kicking out with her left leg alot, she looks like a little frog :)
i love every minute i have with her.
the past two nights, she has gone 4.5-5 hrs at a time sleeping. im hoping this is a new trend! we are on our way to sttn. we are down one feeding after bedtime.
also, avery enjoys sticking her tounge out. its the cutest thing ever!

one month

today is averys one month birthday :) its amazing how quickly time flys. she is getting so big! i love being home with her. its wonderful seeing all of the changes day by day. she is gorgeous. and smart :)

dan goes back to work tomorrow. i am very sad about that. it has been wonderful having him around all the time for the past 3 weeks. right now avery is sleeping on her daddy and it is a sight to see. she is so tiny compared to him lol. but when you look at her on her own, she has grown so much in the past 3 weeks! she is still going through her growth spurt and is always hungry it seems. i feel like as soon as i finish feeding her, its time to get ready for another feeding. she is still fitting into her newborn clothes, and most are still pretty loose so thats good at least that we are getting alot of use out of the clothes. we do have a TON of 0-3 month clothes though so i hope those dont go to waste..

life is hectic. but it is also wonderful. avery has gotten a little fussy the past few days during the daytime, and is hungry alot. i think she is having a growth spurt. right now she is sitting in her bouncy chair and just looking adorable. this is the last week dan is home with us. it is sad :( i wish he could have more time off to stay with us!

avery had her first dr apt today. she is no 7lbs 14 oz. what a good girl she is w/ eating! :) she also had her first shot and she was not happy about it. i couldnt watch them give it to her. right now she is laying on daddies chest and making faces at me. it is adorable. today is the first day that we are all alone as a family of 3. mom and sister have gone home. no friends visiting. its just nice that we can all sit here and enjoy each other.

life with avery

what a change a baby makes. dan and i are so happy with our little girl. we cant believe we created something so amazing and perfect. avery is a fan of cuddling, sleeping, eating, swinging in her swing. i love the little face she makes when she is awake and looking at me. its as if she is smiling i swear. so it might really be gas, but a mom can have her dreams cant she? hehe. it is tiring but every minute is worth it. who ever thought we would be cheering for poopy diapers :) i dont want to put her down. all i want to do is stare at her while she sleeps or sits in my arms. she is wonderful.

poem

here is a poem written by my grandfather for avery:

Avery Grace

Little Avery Grace, has found her place. Here in my heart. This shall be, just her start. To keep us close, and ne'er be apart. She shall always be, as sweet as can be. The same as grandma Anna, who was also an Avery with grace, for all who knew her. So go on, dearest Avery, to daddy and mommy with honor. So go on, and make us prouder. A whole life I wish upon you. All our blessings, Avery Grace, to you. Dedicated to my newest Great Grand Daughter Avery Grace August 2nd 2009 Nat Gross

birth

welcome to the world, avery grace born 8/2/09 at 9:20 pm. 7lbs 12 oz, 20 3/4 inches. she has a head of gorgeous platinum blonde hair and blue eyes.
here is the birth story:
i started feeling contractions around 4am on Sat 8/1. i went for a walk, tried to relax and time them. throughout the day they grew stronger and stronger. towards the evening they were getting to be pretty painful. when they were 5 minutes apart, we called the dr and he said to come to the hospital and they will check me out. this was around 10 pm Sat night. Well i was definatly having the contractions, but i was still not dilated at all. I was 100% effaced at least. They sent me home and told me to come back when i wasnt able to talk/walk through the pain but they were still 5 minutes apart.
Home we went and my sister was saying over with us and she spent the night helping me try and relax through the pain. Her and Dan took turns throughout the night and they were great. The pain, not so great lol. Finally at 6am i couldnt take it anymore, and the contractions were 4-5 minutes apart still. We called the dr and he said to come back in.
When we got there, i was checked and i was 2cm dilated. hurray for progress! they admitted me and got me the most wonderful thing i could think of at the time. My epidural :) once the meds kicked in i was a happy camper. So throughout the day things were progressing nicely. They had me on pitocin to help speed things along. They broke my water around 5cm and i didnt feel a thing. finally around 7:30pm they said i was 10cm and it was time to push. we practiced a bit and off we went. I pushed for an hour and the dr came to check things. apparently avery's heary rate was pretty high so the dr said we could try forceps and have her out in 1-2 more pushes or we could do a c-section. i chose forceps. we got some more anesthesia because it was starting to wear off on my left side. at 9:20pm the most beautiful baby ever was born :) she scored an 8.9 on the apgar scale. i found out that i had a 3rd degree tear. that part has been pretty painful :(
overall my birthing experience was not bad. i love our little girl and we could not be happier.
she loves to eat and sleep and she has found her hands and loves sucking her little fingers.
i cant believe she is finally here!

well we are one day past your due date. i had a very sad day yesterday because i was very frustrated and just wanted you here! but this morning i woke up around 4am w/pains and here it is 4 hrs later and i am still feeling them. they range anywhere from 1o minutes to 4 minutes apart. once i start to see a pattern of 5-6 minutes apart, i will call the dr. i was worried it was just gas pains but dan told me it couldnt be because my belly definatly spasms during these periods. it feels like a mixture of gas, cramps, sciatica, and belly spasms all in one. fun isnt it? i hope today is the day!!

i have been a cranky miserable person the past few days. i started maternity leave today which is nice. but i am loosing it since i am still pregnant. i want you to arrive already avery! i feel bad because i am being mean to daddy. but honestly, he keeps asking when you will arrive and i dont have an answer for him which is driving me nuts! i still havent had any contractions. i have tried everything from walking to spicy food. nothing! i do still have a limb or two stuck in my right rib cage which is not too pleasant. if you could be so kind as to remove it, i would be eternally greatful!
i am really hoping that you will decide its your turn to be born this week. mommy and daddy are more then ready for your arrival.

39 week check up

went to the dr today. 0 cm and 80% effaced. doesnt look like you will be arriving any time soon little one!

single digits

this is kinda weird! 9 days left until my due date. friday is my last day at work, and i cant wait for that. tomorrow i have an apt w/ the obgyn and im hoping they will check and tell me there is some progress.

this pregnancy has flown when i look back at it..i mean every day kind of feels like its dragging but when i look back at it all together...i cant believe i am here already.
i still remember the excitement i had when i first saw the blue line on the test..
avery, i cant wait to meet you sweetheart. its almost here!!

well, still pregnant. i am itchy beyond belief...i dont know why but i just am totally itchy all over. im still chugging along at work. everyone keeps asking when i will be leaving work and i just dont know. im taking it day by day. wednesday i have an apt at the obgyn and maybe they will tell me if theres been any progress. i am curious to see if i have dialated at all.
we cant wait to meet you and its so close but it feels like youll never be here!!

36 weeks

happy july! this means that at any point this month, the baby will be here :) i had my shower last sunday and it was alot of fun. there are so many people that love you already little avery! everyone was very generous and you got tons of wonderful things. then during the week i had a work shower and they love you as well :) today daddy and i went shopping and finished getting everything under the sun that you could possibly need/want. your room is almost ready and we cant wait to put you in it. i had my growth ultrasound yesterday and you were measuring 37 weeks and weighed about 6lbs 7 oz. hopefully this means you wont be more than 8/8.5 lbs when you are born...i am still only up 14 lbs from this pregnancy which makes me feel great. i am getting very tired. standing or talking even takes alot of energy out of me. oh yea and the ultrasound tech said you have a ton of hair! i cant wait to see what color it is little cutie.
we cant wait to meet you!

ive been feeling a bit down the past few days in regards to my sugar testing. i find that my left hand tests higher than my right so i tend to keep to using my right hand as much as i can. ive stuck myself so many times im getting cuts on some fingers so they are tapped until they heal. and then the numbers themselves...i feel like i was doing so well and then today i just felt off by dinner number..it came out 140! i dont know why i had a veggie dog and fries and its nothing different then anything i have had before and passed. its prob the fries. i just have to completly cut them out and i hate it because i WANT them. im tired of not getting to eat what i want anymore. ive lost another 2lbs. the dr said it was fine because my stomach is measuring where it should be but i still worry avery is not getting all she needs because of this stupid diet. i am just stressing...i am ready to be done with work. im exhausted. i just want it to be time to go into labor..
on the plus side i am looking fwd to my shower sunday. i know everone is so excited to meet her and i am looking fwd to seeing people i havent seen in a while. i have to remember to buy thank you cards. and i am still searching for the "right" thank you gift for mom melissa and carole for throwing the shower.

today is fathers day, and your daddy is so excited to meet you :) less then 6 weeks till you are here little one! its been very rainy out but hopefully that will clear up soon. i want there to be lots of sunshine for you when you are born! i cant wait to take you out in your stroller and walk by the lake by the house and show you all the ducks and geese.

so its day 4 of testing my sugar. the biggest problem for me is my fasting sugar. its supposed to be under 95 but its always over 100. im not sure why. unless im secretly eating in my sleep lol. the needle isnt so bad its just kind of annoying having to do it. i get frustrated when i see the numbers over where they should be. im sure ill get used to it but its still hard.
you have been rolling around in there alot little one, i guess theres not much room for you anymore.
60 days till you are due to arrive :) we cant wait to meet you
we cleared out your room last night and now all your clothes are in the closet with cute little pink hangers. im sure grandma sindee will help fill that closet and all the drawers.

testing sugar

i had my apt w/the nutritionist and the nurse to learn how to use the meter.

i found out my 3 hr glucost test numbers: 109 fasting 263(!!!!!) after one hr, 240's after 2 and i think it was 160's after 3.

today after lunch my sugar was 96 which is great. but then after dinner it was 144.

im really hoping that ill start to see better numbers as i learn how to manage w/ diet and exercise..i was so excited to see a good lunch number and then sad when i saw how high dinner was :(

gestational diabetes

well i got the call today. looks like i have GD. :( i am not happy. i am worried for a few reasons. 1)my mother found out she had GD and then later that night her water broke at 32 weeks and i was born and it was tough because i was so early an sick. 2)I dont want you to have to deal with diabetes or weight issues because of this 3) i have no idea what to eat. its hard enough being a vegetarian. now i have even more diet restrictions.
i will have to go meet with a nutritionist, and get blood tests to check my levels. i will also be getting u/s to check on growth.
i really hope its not too bad and i can manage it. no more soda for you baby!

its been a while

sorry little one, i have been slacking on posting. here is a pic of you at our 3d ultrasound :)
we had a wonderful time seeing you and how active you are. you are a little dancer in there. you also are very flexible and like to keep your feet up by your head.
i also took my 3hr glucose test and it was terrible, but of course you are worth it. i had to drink the nastiest triaminic tasting thing ughhhh. i find out tomorrow hopefully if i have passed or not. hopefully all that soda you are making me crave isnt giving me GD.
daddy and i are very excited to meet you. 30 weeks already! 67 days left till you are due i believe.
you are going to be so loved little one. you already are!

failure

i failed the 1hr test. next friday i have to take the 3 hr fasting one. im sad:( i really hope i dont have gestational diabetes. i dont know what ill eat if i cant have carbs/ice cream.
fingers crossed that it was a fluke!!! also my iron is low so now i have to take pills for that as well.

glucose test day

i drank the nasty orange triaminic tasting thing for my 1 hr glucose test. i reaaaaaallllly hope it comes back ok. i find out in 48 hrs. fingers crossed!!

happy mothers day

so this is kind of my first mothers day...pretty cool :) daddy bought me my glider for the nursery and it should be ready in a week or two. 6 days until we see your pretty little face!!

my trip to the er

i woke up after sleeping for about 45 minutes with chest pain, couldnt breathe. i was having pain radiating to my back and i couldnt lay down because of the pain. it wouldnt go away so mh took me over to the ER, and they ran a bunch of tests. everything looks good in my lungs and chest, the dr said he didnt really know what was causing the chest pain. he thought it could be a combo of GERD and where the baby is positioned. i called my OB today to let them know and they are making me come back in and may send me to a Cardiologist because of the heart murmur they heard last week.

im sure everything is fine..i just wish the elephant sitting on my chest would get off so i can breathe again. it still hurts when i take a deep breath.
little girl..please move off whatever organs you are pressing on so i can breathe normal again and stop freaking out that you or I are not ok!!

its getting tough to walk

i feel soooo weighed down. its getting difficult walking and i feel like an oompah loompah.
right now i am just loving the idea of laying in bed or on the couch and not having to do ANYTHING. ohhhh 3rd trimester how much fun i think you will be. lol.

me and heat dont mix right now
my hands and feet are getting so swollen in this 90 degree weather...what happened to spring?
so little one, i am a few days away from the 3rd trimester. were almost there! 3 months left. i cant wait.
we have your furniture coming in June, the room is painted, and mommy and daddy cant wait to meet you!
we had melissa and robs engagement party this past weekend and it went well. it was nice to see everyone. grandpa cried when he saw you in my belly.
heres a pic of me, grandpa, and tabi. she cant wait for a new playmate!

heartburn hell

kid, you either have a looooot of hair, or are just trying to drive mommy insane. i have had killer heartburn the past week :( not good. your lucky i love you haha. i think i saw you move my stomach last night while i was trying to sleep. pretty soon well see one of the long legs pushing your foot through my sides ill bet. aunt melissa tried to feel you but i dont think you wanted to show off so that was pretty unsuccessful. we might go get your crib today. i hope you like whatever we pick out, your sleeping in that bed till you move out :)

24 weeks, 4 days

the dr apt went well today. you were, of course, uncooperative yet again! well...they got the spine shot they needed from you, you were spine up. and what an adorable spine you have! but you were moving around alot and you were blocking your face so no pics. also, you were sitting indian style so they think you are a girl but couldnt say 100%. you really are shy about showing us the goods huh? as im writting this, you just kicked me haha. i guess its your way of saying hello :)
next visit is in 4 weeks and i will have to take the 1 hr glucose test :( yuck! ive heard not so great things about that crap you have to drink. and then a few days after that we are going for our 4-d ultrasound. i hope you cooperate little one!

grow baby grow

i love feeling your little kicks. i cant wait til tuesday, i get to see you on the ultrasound again! hopefully, you will still be a girl lol. otherwise, weve got lots to do to change everything to boy stuff haha. as long as you are healthy, ill be a happy mommy.

23 week belly shot

soccer ball?

well little one you seem to think mommy's bladder is your soccer ball. Id like to let you know my organs are not toys! i love feeling you but omg it hurts when you do that lol. your little kicks are getting stronger and i love love love it. mommy and daddy love you and we cant wait to meet you. we picked the paint color for your room :) its a very pretty soft lilac. we started clearing out the room and daddy will paint once thats done. in a few weeks, we will order your furniture. i cant wait to see the room all set up for you.
ive gotta get another belly shot, ive been slacking. ill try and get one and post this weekend.

sleep

i miss sleeping. im so tired all the time, but everynight i get woken up after only a few hrs of sleep..my bodys getting me ready for the baby im sure..but i still dont like it. even on the weekends i wake up the same time as i do for work. its a pain in the ass!! if i had enough vacation time, id take a day just to sleep and lay in bed..thatd be nice. i really need to stop packing plans into the weekends and take some time for me and dan. note to self...schedule time for my husband and i to relax lol

Dear Avery

Well little one, we have learned that you are a girl!!! we are so happy and cant wait to meet you. but you are one stubborn little kid let me tell you. we went on friday (the 13th haha) to have our 20 week apt and ultrasound. and you were breech with your legs up over your head and they were crossed. you just did not want to show the goods. so we scheduled another apt for 24 weeks. but as im sure everyone knows, daddy and i are the most impatient people in the world. so on saturday, grandma sindee took us to an ultrasound place in langhorn PA, where we tried for a second time to find out what you are. it was supposed to be a 10 minute appt. it wound up taking over a half hr, but the wonderful man was able to tell that you are in fact a girl. we cant wait to see you again at the 24 week u/s and then again for our 3d u/s on may 16th at 28 weeks. you are so adorable and your growing so quickly.
mommy and daddy love you!!

dear baby

i love feeling you kick. its like your way of communicating with me :) i dont think ill ever get enough of it. we find out on friday if you are a boy or a girl! i am so excited. either way, know that we want you and love you already and cant wait to have you in our lives. if i could bend, id kiss my belly now to show you how much i love you :)

Dan felt baby kick!

omg it was so cool! good job baby, you showed daddy you are really in there and it was the coolest feeling for both of us to feel you at the same time. we love you!!

one more week..

a week from tomorrow, and we will know what we are having!!! Boy or girl, we love you already. i hope you dont mind all the showtunes i make you listen to. mommy loves her showtunes and hopes you will as well. daddy....not so much haha.
i cant wait to start buying you stuff :) you are going to be one spoiled little baby!

17 weeks +

Today i went maternity shopping for real for the first time. thanks to mom i had a nice gift card for motherhood...and i spent every penny lol. i got alot though. jeans, work pants, skirt, shirts, 2 dresses...and they all fit :) heres what im looking like now:
















im loving my bump :) baby, i cant wait to meet you!!!!

new obgyn

so i switched obgyn today because i want to deliver at virtua instead of cooper. i love the new office. everyone is super nice. they even give all new pregnant patients books about pregnangy and a journal to keep track of stuff. i love it! so i talked to the dr about going back on zoloft. she said i should go treat with a psychiatrist but shes ok with my being on the meds if its hurting me more then helping me to be off. so i still have a precription from the regular dr and i started 1/2 a dose today and will do that for a week and then go up to the full 50 mg. in the mean time i will find a psychiatrist to monitor me and make sure everything is ok. i hate seeing all those warning lables about not taking during pg...but ive lost 5lbs from this...i cant. i cant hurt my baby because of my ocd and anxiety. i have faith that the baby will be ok and i wont hurt it just because im on the meds. i just need to make an effort to actually have the dr monitor me on it. time to go do research for a dr!
my anatomy scan is 3/13 i cant wait!!

psycho

ive been dealing with anxiety/ocd/depression for years now. i had been on zoloft for id say at least 4 years. i have been seeing a psychologist who encouraged me to go off the meds, especially now that I am pregnant. So i have been off the meds since Thanksgiving. Well the past few weeks i have been getting worse. I cant drive on highways anymore, if im a passanger in a car on a highway then we have to drive in the right lane at exactly the speed limit or i freak out. i cant eat in restaurants or even at work apparently because im scared of choking to death. i stress over everything. i cant focus and i want to cry. i hate my psychologist. i want to try hypnotherepy but idk if the insurance covers it or who to have do it. i think he does it but idk if i trust him enough..i am switching obgyn next week because i decided i want to deliver at virtua and not cooper. my old obgyn didnt know what the side effects were if i were to stay on my meds. i am hoping the new one will. at this point i feel like its gunna hurt the baby more if i am off my meds then if i am on them on a low dose. i had been on 100 mg before i got pg which isnt very high. and id say it was at least 80% effective at that level. i could function! i cant function like this. i hate who i am right now. this should be the happiest time of my life and im miserable because i cant stand being in my own skin. my psychologist says i should be able to talk myself out of my panic attacks....yea well screw you man cause i cant! whether im weak or what i dont know. talking myself out of it does NOTHING. i just get more frustrated. i dont know what to do anymore. my husband doesnt understand me. he tries i guess. but theres no way for someone who doesnt deal w/ocd to know what it does to you. and its a vicious cycle because the anxiety brings on depression which brings on more anxiety. and then i sit and dwell on it. all day long.

what can i do? i just want to sleep for a long time and when i wake up have this be gone. or i wanna be a stepford wife with no brain. anything to stop from feeling this way. i know my issues are irrational. thats what OCD is. a bunch of irrational crap and its all about control and i have none and im miserable.

God if your out there...do something. please. anything. i cant take this anymore.

2nd trimester here i come!

tomorrow i am officially in the 2nd trimester and im very excited :) ive had a bunch of headaches latley and im still not loving food but its getting better. apparently i am showing, strangers can tell Im pregnant at this point. i dont know how i feel about that lol. i am going to put pictures up soon to show belly growth.
i had a bit of a gut before hand, but its definatly round now.
we find out the sex on march 13th. i feel like its so far away!!!!
i dont know if i have a "mothers instinct" as to what it is yet. ive had people say they think its both..so who knows lol.
all i know is i love my husband and our baby and cant wait to meet it :)

week 13

sunny side up

i graduated from the RE today :)
got to get a good view at Baby and saw hands, feet, alien face, and loooon legs. the tech got an awesome shot of the baby looking directly under it..spread eagle!! oh boy we have our hands full haha. its too early to tell the sex. hopefully within the next month and a half we can tell. it was a good visit overall. now we go to the OB on weds wooo! very exciting :)

food

i am having such a hard time with food latley. i feel hungry..yet when i go to eat, i gag. i cant bring myself to eat anything and i dont know why this is. it is so frustrating..and causing a few fights between dan and i as well :( he gets mad when i waste the food we buy.
i cant wait for this to go away..

cravings

all i want is french dressing, hot fudge, and soda from a soda fountain. being pg is so strange...the random things we crave lol. i think ive convinced dan that we should go to friendlys when he gets home from work :)

Pregnancy

Well my father suggested that i keep a diary of my pregnancy. Since i have terrible handwritting and this is the electronic age, i figured a blog is the next best thing.
I started fertility treatment in the summer of 2008. We tried 2 cycles of clomid that did nothing. Next we were trying a cycle w/ injections. Those who know me know that i dont do needles well. Theres something about wanting a child that got me to face my fear, and Dan gave me my injections every night. They sucked, but i knew the end result would be worth it. So i went to the RE and they said i overstimulated, i have 28 mature follicles. The only way we could save that cycle was to do IVF and skip right over IUI. Basically for those that dont know, IVF (in vetro fertilization) is where they removed my mature eggs/follicles and took Dans sperm and fertilized them all. In our case, they did ICSI which is where they take one sperm and insert it into one egg, as opposed to just putting the sperm in the dish and letting them swim. They wound up fertilizing 19 out of the 28 and they put two back in and froze the other 17.
And it worked.
Our first IVF was successful and 10 days after my egg retreival, i tested at home after work and i got the faintest line...but it was there! i was actually pregnant :) i called dan cause lord knows i couldnt just wait to surprise him when he got home. i kept peeing on those sticks every day until that saturday when i did a Beta blood test at my RE and they confirmed i was pregnant.
Now, i am 10 weeks and 4 days pregnant. My due date as far as we can tell is July 31, 2009. I have one last ultrasound at the RE next tuesday and then i will officially graduate to the OBGYN. I have my first appointment with them on Jan 14th.
So far here is how i have been feeling: since week 5 i have off and on nausea. No vomitting thank god, but food has not really been my friend. I havent gained any weight yet which is a plus for me i think. Id like to try and gain only the needed weight since PCOS makes it hard to loose weight. Whatever keeps baby healthy is good for me. Ive been EXHAUSTED. I never expected it to be like this. I get home from work and just want to lay in bed all night. I am getting winded alot latley. I also have been VERY hormonal and cranky the past few weeks. I always feel so bad for snapping when i do but i feel like a monster is controlling my emotions and i cant stop mean things from coming out of my mouth! Dan has been awesome. Hes taken up all the slack and cleans 99% of the time. I did do the dishes tonight to surprise him for when he comes home lol. I have also been crying alot at tv shows. Im just super emotional, kinda like a roller coaster right now. I have been wearing the bella band with my pants since week 6 or 7 because of the bloat. Actually, i was really bloated during the IVF process because of everything that was going on in there..i dont think it ever really went away. I have rounded out alot in my belly. Dan said to me last night that i was "showing". i did look like i was about 15-16 weeks lol. Then this morning it was gone. Welcome to baby bloat! I figure itll be like this for a few more weeks. I am looking forward to a real baby bump :). I havent told co-workers yet except for my friends and my boss. I figure i will just let people know when they start asking me. As for the rest of my friends who dont already know, ill plan on making it public next week after i see the baby again. i absolutly LOVE seeing it on the ultrasounds. It makes me happy. The HB was 177 bpm last week. If you go by old wives tales, then that is a girl. But who knows! I have been craving soda!!!! I never drink soda lol. At least its not meat i guess. I have also been craving french salad dressing from kraft. im very specific with my cravings. Bagels dont seem to do it for me lately. I need to find a new breakfast..
So i think thats everything in a nutshell up to now. I am loving every minute of being pregnant despite the sick feeling and the exhaustion. It will all be worth it when i see my babys smiling face in 29 1/2 more weeks :)